Welcome!
To the Boothtown Terriers ARLFC website, here you can find news, views, match reports & more online.

Club Sponsors:
 

The Guv'nor - The man reaching critical mass of coolness.

 

April 28th 2010

Well at least a little respect was returned to the side away at West Bowling last Saturday, we stood up up well to a bigger side than last week and played some good rugby in patches.  Shame about the overall turnout again with only two subs, also a shame that our over confidence saw us spray the ball all over the field and gift the opposition so many easy tries.  Still despite the scoreline we did show plenty invention and creation with some kick throughs, turning the rapidly advancing defence and scoring some neat tries. 

Flights were stopped again from LBA around 3pm when a dust cloud blew across from the pitch, so much for playing summer rugby, there's more hair on my napper than there was on that dust bowl!

No dummy book entry this time, just that Doddy's hair do has done this for us all.
End of season, Handicap Cup final, presentation night and plenty of maintenance work to be done, please help, end of chat!
Guv..

 

April 18th 2010

Absolutely awful, are the only two words to describe our performance and that of the official away at Littleborough yesterday.  It would appear that all were still hung over from Roscoe's do last week, apart from young Jamie Love who was the best of a bad lot.  All the improvements that had been made over the past few weeks were blown away as Terriers turned back the clock six months, sliding back into lethargy and taking what was dealt to them, most of it pretty unpleasant.  Our one and only forward pass of the game was somehow spotted, whilst three from 'boro were all missed and led to tries. 
Despite this our opposition played simple rugby and backed up well, they were also up for it and brutal, something else brushed aside and turned a blind eye to by the ref.  Since when a tackler is allowed to stand over his opposite number and verbally abuse him very vocally, right in front of the official is beyond me. 
Had that of happened in the street the offender would have been hauled off to the local nick for a spot of bed and breakfast, probably ending up being charged for the offence.  The same thug tried it on again a few minutes later but this time it was to the ref, who promptly gave the same his marching orders, double standards or what? 
I am led to believe that our local rivals are busy slinging mud at the Terriers officials, after they got found out cheating again after fielding seven first teamers against us. 
Even if this had of been the opening fixture of the season we would still have put up a tenner to get things checked out, 'cos we know your dodgier than Arthur Daley and his latex cheque book!  Rules are rules which are there to be adhered to, remember not to urinate on your own doorstep whilst in full view of the rest of the neighbourhood, simples!
After my key ring icon was spotted dangling from my pocket yesterday, coaches wife Andrea was proud to tell all and sundry that I had given her my big one, oh dear!
Guv.

 

April 8th 2010

Just a quick update and congratulations to all those who played their part in our Handicap Cup semi-final win over Siddal 'B' last night, running out winners 32 - 30 with handicap, 32 - 24 without.  With SNF Jackson being at work on the night, I can only give you a brief outline of the action as I saw it or not.  Well this "Mickey Mouse Cup" tie in which Siddal showed little or no interest (Phil Watson), turned out just the way anyone that knows anything about Siddal would expect. 
They turned out a team that wanted this fixture and were hell bent on getting the win, anyway and everyway only Siddal players know how.  Years of experience at higher levels, determination never to lie down and take a backward step, win at all costs!  Terriers got off to a poor start and the handicap lead was extended, before we got into the game and into their faces. 
The tie moved from end to end score followed by counter score, Jamie Love proving more than a handful for Siddal out wide.  Terriers Dale Brown quick to spot a gap and nip through, his final pass then being spilt to ground, should he have gone alone?  Another beautiful break with a similar back door pass, another odds-on try?  Called forward by Siddal, agreed by the official, should have gone to Specsavers called the Terriers crowd!  This tie had it all and honours ended just about even at half time, scores tied at 20 a piece.  The second half began in similar vein to the first, nip and tuck neither side prepared to give an inch.  Even the ref got caught in the battle royal as he lost control of the score, we made us level on points, he made us two behind.  Everyone was caught up in this mother of all games, a Siddal player being despatched to the sin bin, followed shortly by one of ours. 
The knocks and injuries continued to mount for the Terriers as Siddal drove relentlessly forward, Craig Stewart having to assist with the physio duties and filling water bottles (thanks Gimp).  Ben Mallas playing through the pain with a fractured hand, Choppy limping off with a knee injury at full back.  With around 15 mins to go Terriers took the lead yet again some thought that to be it, again we were hauled back when Andy Hancock threw an outrageous dummy and went over to level again, fortunately they had forgotten to bring their kicking cone and missed the conversion. 
The ball was promptly driven back up field and deep into the Terriers 20, before we regained possession at the turn over and started to make our reply.  The half had moved into injury time when we were awarded a penalty some 25 - 30 meters out around 10 meters in, up stepped man of the moment Paul Rawson to covert the winning points, much to the annoyance of the Siddal touchline who tried their best to put him off. 
Every dog has his day and for once it was Boothtowns', so come on Walt Disney bring on the final!
Guv.

 

April 2nd 2010

Another good win for the team last Saturday when we beat Brighouse in the Handicap Cup, this despite being given a 21 point start which we never needed and they never threatened to overturn.  Again a makeshift 15 put on their boots to do the deed with Charlie taking over from "still not funny Jackson" as the touchline foghorn on crutches, whilst Craig Knowles took up the water duties. 
Two players out of the team who could have just sat at home but came along to do their bit, unlike most, greatly appreciated.  So after running out 22 point winners we move on to the final, that's if you believe what you read in the Courier. 
There's actually a small matter of getting past Siddal 'B' first to whom we give a 6 point start, that's if we can manage to raise a team for a Wednesday night fixture.  Still with the way things have been going of late I wouldn't rule anything out at this stage, just wonder how many glory seekers will crawl from the woodwork if we make the final?  Also best wishes to Wayne "Pee-Wee" Oakes, who popped his shoulder for the n'th time in his career.  Unlike Yvonne's, we will miss your driving!

Finally as promised a piece for the Dummy Book which twins nicely with the news that Grandchild #6 is due towards Christmas, official date to follow later.  On the announcement of the confirmed pregnancy the dutiful father was quick to ask, "how's that happened, that's what I want to know?"  Thinks ......
Guv. 

 

March 20th 2010

Get well soon Andrew Charlesworth who sustained an horrific ankle injury, whilst playing against Liversedge earlier today.  Best wishes and good luck for a speedy recovery from all at the club, we all know that given half a chance you would be back on the field playing again before the end of the season! 
If only some players had as much commitment as he has in his little finger, we could have won this division weeks ago.  Usually I'm a pretty easy going guy these days, but for once I need to vent my spleen against all those wasters that say they play for the Boothtown Terriers.  Mobile phones switched off on game days, out on the lash Friday nights and can't be arsed Saturdays, train Tuesday and Thursday but missing Saturday and can't be bothered to let anyone know?  If that's what you think it takes to be a Terrier don't bother coming along again, 'cos we can get on just fine without you.  That's why people like Charlie find themselves putting on their boots and laying it on the line, whilst you yank your planks and only dream of what it means to be a Terrier. 
Ooh ah, ooh ah, ooh to be a Terrierah!  This display against Liversedge has just shown what it's all about and what we can do when we put our minds to it, backs against the wall and only 15 men, down to 14 with the loss of Charlie mid-way through the first half.  Sure it was rumored that 'sedge had their problems too, but they managed a full compliment and came to make a game of it.  Atrocious conditions made it difficult for both sides, but for once with a decent official in the middle we made this our day.  We did to 'sedge what Sharleston did to us last week, a strong defensive performance combined with a will and desire to win the game.  Strong running from the forwards, supported by driving from the wings and the centres when required, a total commitment from every man jack on the field made this our day.  This was a true Terriers performance and has been threatening to come together for some time, sorry 'sedge that you were on the end of it and wish you well for the future.
Guv.

March 15th 2010

Just a quick tip for anyone out there with regard to modern technology, in this case your laptop if you have one.  Never put a recipient in the to send column, until you have completed your mail and done the required spelling checks etc.  I was just browsing through my last set of notes when the old digit hovered by mistake over the send button and away it went... of course most of you pc literate types will already know this, so I will move on.
Depending on how the Pennine League are forced to restructure the divisions later this year, it is now almost certain that we are going down again.  This after what many thought including myself, should have been an easy matter of two points at home to Sharleston A.  After recent performances this looked a banker for getting a glimmer of hope for our survival, however Sharleston had other ideas and put up a great defensive display, despite only having one sub.  This really means nothing to me personally only that their fourteen wanted it more, played it better and were determined to get what they wanted out of the game.  Well done to you guys for that, my woolly hat off to you as a token of respect, nuff said!
Three games to go now in the league one home, two away plus the Handicap Cup, which we appear to have been entered for by the back door, snide comments to yourselves readers thank you.
Many moons ago a close army buddy used to keep what we all knew as a Dummy Book, this was for all things said in good faith but were either totally stupid or could be twisted to mean something else.  My intention is to raise said phoenix and start again here in my notes, could all players and staff keep their ears open and pass on the best of?  Here's my cheap and personal opener for starters...
Before the game against Ovenden the match official who was not of male gender forgot to bring the team sheet, all agreed to write this out on a sheet of A4 and pass onwards.  At some stage the club secretary being a most polite and helpful soul and also living close, went home and brought one back.  It was promptly filled in and once again passed to the official for signature and relevant copies passed to both sides.  One keen onlooker questioned this situation as he too was aware of what had gone on earlier, quick as a flash our Andy bawled out at the top of his voice and in front of his wife, "It's all right I've just given her one!"  You get how it goes now so be warned, if your tongue slips and you hear the words Dummy Book, you are sure to read it hear.

Guv.

 

January 2nd 2010

Happy New Year to you all wherever you are!
As our great British winter weather has had its grip on things of late, there is nothing much to report with regard to games played or those to follow until the cold snap ends.
No doubt there will be a report or two on our Christmas festivities and relevant ongoings, all of which I missed due to being away on holiday.  Just to show that we have lost none of our festive spirit, our treasurer decided to have one of his grand final clearance sales, click here for pic.
Regards.
Guv.

15th December 09

Well almost there and I just write these notes to wish you reader a very Merry Christmas, whoever you are and wherever you might be.  No more pressies from Santa yet although if the team can be bothered to turn out this weekend, we might just put the icing on the cake.  It would appear that most players seem to think that the whole month of December represents Christmas after two disappointing turnouts for the last two games, once again well done to the hardcore  who do their bit every week with no questions asked.
Looks like my bit on the food issue needs to brought up again, although if you brought up what we were given last week anyone would think we were bulimic.  Kept waiting for the best part of an hour, a few players were seen celebrating as they left the Lindley clubhouse pic.
Anyone wishing to see a cosy piece of Xmas festive fun might wish to follow the following link, hope you all enjoy the festive season, ho,ho,ho!

Guv.

 

 

3rd December 09

Well Santa finally arrived early, whilst the recalcitrant child did its best to throw the most welcome gift back in his face!  Well done to everyone concerned in our first victory for almost twelve months, let's hope there will be more to follow.  With a little more luck and similar dedication to duty, perhaps we can also stop the leaking roof (don't hold your breath!).

It was good to have a night out with the troops last month, I think there were more bodies than turned out for our recent race night.  Being the tightarse that I am, I duly noted that Gimp and I were getting a couple of beers for a fiver with change in the Plummet Line. By the time we got to the Barracuda and added a bottle of Bud for Rob to this, the price had gone up to £11.50?  Didn't know it was compulsory to buy everyone else in the joint one too, it was a groat for a firkin the last time I bought a round!  It was also strange to hear music coming out of two rectangular box things, whatever happened to strings,woodwind and the rest of the orchestra?   I was actually looking for a horse and carriage to take me home, but Faz and his good lady took me back to the nursing home in their car thingy.  I was subsequently grounded for three weeks due to the fact that my pass out ran out at 10.30pm, and was also sent straight to bed with no Ovaltine to boot either.  I have also been informed that any similar behaviour and I will be getting an asbo!  Bring on the 27th December or whatever date we decide to have our Christmas drinkypoos, is all I can say to that one. 
Finally a little rib tickler for your pleasure, understand that these actually went on sale in Ireland before someone spotted the boo boo.  No snide remarks about the facial similarities accepted either!  Click here for pic.
Guv!

 

25th October 2009

It's really getting boring having the usual rants and raves on a regular monthly basis, so as I have nothing better to do here's some more boring banter. 

The team is still without a win and it looks as though Santa might be getting a few letters asking for the same, we are currently going down faster than the Hindenburg (Google this if you don't know what I'm on about).  We have been getting a lot of complaints and flak for introducing a new training regime, although personally I can't see what all the fuss is about, click link here to see photo.  A few more highlights of our recent past include coach Dewhirst at the Odsal game getting bawled out whilst driving the ball in quote, somebody get him down, he's at least a hundred years old!, actually he's only 72 was my quick response.  After the game our fresh faced scrum half tried to buy some cigarettes from the local Co-op, only to be refused because he didn't look old enough.  Having fathered two children (admitted) and being 24 years old,  personally I would have taken this as a rare compliment.  I was getting some ribbing about my pot belly yesterday instigated by Faz, little does he know that it's actually a fuel tank for a lurve machine (I wish). 
We organised a little gathering for the troops you know the type of thing, you all get together for a few drinks and a little chit chat.  Needless to say it was all the usual faces that turned out for the event, no sign of any of the younger members.  Perhaps it's the smell of my Old Spice aftershave that they don't like, or the fact they were too busy watching the X-Factor?  Either way we still managed to have a good time and raised a few shillings for the club, (Google - shilling).  Thanks to Faz for his effort in the fabrication of the race board and our dolly dealers, who failed to get their norks out despite several requests from Dazzler.  Showing my age here as I desperately bought another drink at 10.50pm finally leaving sometime around 1.15 am, Google won't help you here ask you parents about last orders circa 1853.
As you might have noticed I have not had my usual constructive criticism of the team, this will now be left to our very own Paul Rawson in Captains Corner. 
More morbid humour next time!
Guv. 

 

 

October 2009

Well it's nice to know that normal service has been returned to the site, we have been plagued by hackers and viruses over the past month and our webmeisters have been kept busy sorting it out.  We now have full control and things are back to normal, so this means that you can keep up to speed with my monthly drivel on a regular basis, whilst taking your ketamine.

No wins from four games now, we went to West Leeds started well and were then outplayed by the best team in the league that we have come across so far.  Then a home fixture to Vic Rangers where we had control for most of the game, until pushing the self destruct button in the last ten minutes.  Finally onto Undercliffe where all looked to be going well at half time, then we didn't turn out for the second half!  Strange how the two relegated side from last season are both sitting at the foot of the table without a win to their names, still say that we are too good to go down and the winning will start soon. 
I see that Ned Flanders was pointing out that I was having a rant about the same old faces etc, but what's the point in having a committee when no-one's prepared to commit?  Sorry Ned but the days of picking cotton long since passed me by and I also know who has got your John Bull printing set, it is used to type the minutes out every month and has bits missing! 
So back to that cherry news I mentioned last month, it's not really that cheery at all is it?  No wins, no workers, no roof seal, no fate but that that we make for ourselves... may God help us all!
Guv.

September 2009

Delayed these notes until after our first game of the season, which we duly lost 42 - 16 away at Liversedge.  After all the pre-season training and hype all the good work was undone in the first 20 mins, when 'sedge rattled in a rather easy 24 unanswered points, whilst our boys offered little resistance.  The alarm clock finally went off and we got down to the business of playing the game managing 12 points in return, shame our usually trusty kicker missed three relatively easy kicks, thus failing to narrow the gap to a mere 6 points. 
Second half was similar to the first but sedge were coming down the slope and closing in fast at our play the ball, this we seemed not to have an answer to and were pinned back for long periods, had anyone ever heard of a grubber through the defence? 

Most of the kicks went over the line of defence and straight down the throat of the opposition, who more often than not also managed to gain plentiful meterage in return.  Whist under pressure in our own 20 one beautiful loft over the top was seized upon by our centre, who was then pulled back for being offside, yes the official got it wrong again and not for the first time either.  Not taking anything away from them the better side won on the day and if we are going to continue to play this way, you could be looking at going down again this year. Only thing is that we all know that this is not going to happen and we are capable of playing much better than that, it might look good in training but tackle bags don't hit back, unless they are seriously provoked! 
So it's no more soaps on a Tuesday night as the Coach has called for a return to the long since abandoned  Tuesday night training session, sorry boys but after that performance it's not before time either.  There were a few good key pointers towards certain individuals and I'm positive that there is better to come, at least the top of the league only beat the bottom of the same? 
Another omen is that for the past two seasons we have always won our first game, it's gone steadily downhill after that and I'm looking on the bright side this time.
Not much more to add right now, so hopefully back in October with some positive cherry news (yes I know it's a typo but I'm using the Secretary's computer!).

Regards.

Guv.

Pre Season 2009

Things are progressing well as we approach the new season, a few more willing pairs of hands and we'd have been there by now.  Still as they say some peoples worst efforts are better than others best, especially when it comes down to the individual giving it a shot, rather than not at all.
We find ourselves in division three this season and for the most part this has been greeted with positive reactions, all we need now is the continued commitment from the players and we will have a much better season than the last two.  There are some new faces in the team and all is looking well at this stage, I will refrain from mentioning any individual names for now, as I have a way of putting the hex on folks.  Two pre-season friendlies against the Illingworth massive and Halifax Irish  indicate many positive pointers for the team, any chance of silverware will be down to training and again commitment!  For my own part I will miss our visits to and from DVB, hope our paths cross again soon, always a pleasure doing business with those guys?  So it is to pastures new and those not visited for some time, new being Selby, Sharleston and West Leeds, whilst I personally always enjoy the feisty atmosphere at Littleborough.  Again rumour control plays it's part with the usual "if you go down into three I will come back and play for you" this being the case we should have no problems starting a second team.
Just last week and with only ten days notice it was our great pleasure to renew our our Army links, by hosting their family day on our ground at Ellen-Royd.  All we had to do was a little bit of admin and help run a beer tent for the day, whilst they supplied a paint ball range, climbing tower, bouncy castles, games, food and a whole lot more.  Thanks to all who assisted in this memorable and hopefully repeatable event, special thanks to Graham and Jean Walker who ran the bar for most of the day without a break, a sterling and much appreciated effort!  Pictures and reports should appear by our intrepid reporter the Greygoose, hopefully in the local rag and on this site, look out for more details. 
P.S.  Ian forget the Havana Club next time, or should that be Jai forget to drink it in future?
Guv.

 

August 2009

For once I failed my promise to you all by not writing another piece in July, or getting you that list of trophy winners.  It would seem to me on that score in this case, I have joined the rest of my artillery buddies who are gunner do this and gunner do the other.  From my fading memory I was verbally given the list but can only remember that players player was Steven Love, most improved player Dale Brown and Andy Charlesworth and I shared the clubman of the year.  David Love got his just rewards from the Halifax league for all services rendered to the game, much to his surprise, well done Lovie aka The Sperminator! 
Unfortunately our open air changing rooms decided that they become an indoor swimming pool instead, as a section of someone's roof decided to land inside, along with a substantial down payment of H2O!  This has meant a lot of extra time has had to be put into doing repairs and refurbishments before the start of the new season, which will be upon us in five weeks time.  Once again key members of the club put the time and the effort into doing this vital work, whilst everyone else stood back and became Arsenal supporters.  Once these three geriatric old duffers get the call from the big man upstairs, chances are the wood lice will take care of the rest! Also on the scene for a while was our very own Dids, another photo to follow in his section, thanks Alan!
Our AGM was the same old same old, same people same jobs, so you will continue to get the same old ramblings of a frustrated crusty.  Highlight of this day again was a feast fit for the Romans laid on by Carol, all we needed were some togas, flowing goblets of wine and a few loose women and the rest left to the imagination.
One new addition to the ranks of the membership was Gareth "Trotter" Cox, who has just had the Reliant serviced and joins us for merchandising.  Also clearly apparent on this day was an underlying current of if you ain't got the time to do it neither have we, as the proverbial hot potatoes were passed around the room with no one wanting to put the Lurpack or cheese on them.  Several key areas have had to be put on the back burner or kb'd, due to staff shortages and overloaded individual workloads. 
Whilst under these constraints it is better to focus on the key issues, in the day to day running of the club and it's ability to function as a unit, hopefully the icing can be put on the cake at a later date!
Guv.

July 2009

Hello again readers, well the break sure did me good and now it's back to reality.  As I look around it's duly noted that nothing much appears to have changed whilst I've been away, I understand that there have been a couple of league dinners and that certain individuals have won awards for various things; I shall take some time out later this month to update you with this info, just to keep you in suspenders for a little while longer.
  Having spoken to the club Secretary recently he informs me that one of our local rivals are hoping for some glory hunting silverware, by dropping down two divisions? 
I think that there's more chance of us winning the Challenge Cup than you achieving this, but as they say if you don't ask, you don't get.  Again the close season rumour control hyperlink continues its speculative journey through time, people coming back, leaving, retiring, resigning etc. 
All this and much more will be revealed over the next couple of months and all will finally be confirmed come September, get down to the nearest bookmakers and place your bets soonest. 
Well will close for this session and come back to all later this month, there is interference on vision do not adjust your P.C yet!

Regards.
Guv

June 2009

We now enter our final phase of the season handing out awards, attending dinners and re-electing committee members for the forthcoming season.  It is alleged that our masters will not entertain claims for hardship or clemency according to rumour control, which has started to weave it's vines around the local circuit.  I personally was not aware that we are currently living under the iron cross of dictatorship and expect therefore to be sent to the Russian front, sooner rather than later, well at least the grass doesn't grow as fast at -50c!   Radioactive onions or not the Ruskies sure know their stuff, whilst the Yanks spent billions developing a biro that worked in zero gravity, they simply used a pencil!  They say that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, silly horse if it's severely dehydrated is all I can say here.  When your digits turn black and start to drop off do you need to be told to seek medical attention?  No I don't think so either, anyone got a band aid to put Humpty together again?  With all these rants and discombobulating I am starting to feel like Spike Milligan, so I will pop off for five minutes and take the medication, hopefully the next paragraph will make a little more sense.
The doctor says that I need to calm down a little and stop looking for the boogie man, the advice is to take a good long break in a nice warm climate. So I have booked a three week break just to get away from it all, nice of the club rules to allow me to pay for it on my expenses?  By the time you and the Treasurer get to find out about this loophole I will be long gone, understandably there could be a vote of no confidence issued real soon, but a simple plea of ignorance and I will spend the rest of my days sitting in clover!  Therefore my July notes will be a little later than usual but hopefully some sense of normality might have been restored, wonder if they will trust me with anything sharper than a wax crayon from within the confines of my second home?  
Most of the above just goes to show how easy it is to type a load of mindless drivel once a month and have it updated on a website, get my drift Mc Fly? 
Guv.

May 2009

So the curtain has fallen on another season and once again we find ourselves feeding down at the bottom of the pond, on a couple of brighter points we did manage to win three games and fulfill all our fixtures.  A big thank you to all those players who stuck to the task and turned out whatever the weather or the opposition, also to those who made it when their workload allowed them the weekend off, giving up the Saturday to commit to the cause.  Where we go from here is left in the hands of the league and where we decide where we want to be as a club, at least we haven't folded and decided to re-enter in the lower divisions (5/6) as many clubs have done in seasons past.  My own opinion is that we should step down a division, hopefully recruit some new young players, win a lot more games and get promoted as a stronger club and finish with a lot better showing in division two. 
Good enough for Morley Borough who have gained promotion back after going down into three, winning the division and the silverware to boot, well done to them let's see if they can stay up!  Yes it could well be that some players might not want to play or sign for us playing in a lower division, but it must be a better option than getting nilled on several occasions nearly all of them by fifty points or greater? 
Such performances are not pretty to watch unless you support the opposition, especially when the team is let down by a few usual suspects who think that Friday night is for boozing and Saturday afternoon's for snoozing, always remembering to switch off their mobiles first.  After two seasons of requesting to the league to keep us up because we think that we are good enough to be kept where we are, results this season have again showed that we are clearly not of the standard required (unless every division has to have a doormat and again, personally I'm fed up of seeing our boys battered all over the park week in, week out.) 
Not since the days of the great Chinmeister and co have we ever been anything close to the team we once were, that in no way is meant to demean anyone who has played for us since.  Perhaps there are readers out there that think otherwise, but we are all entitled to some form of opinion or other and this one's mine, let's see where we start out in September and leave it at that for now.
Our last three results in April saw a 14 man squad easily beaten by a hungry young Stanningley side, only highlight here was Did's getting reprimanded by the ref!  Putting up a very good performance against Bank Top whose defence refused to crack time after time in the second half, I actually thought we might get a win here at one stage until they shut up shop.  Finally losing to Thornhill on our last game of the season, again we were in this one until the last 10 minutes. 
I think that they expected to win this one much more easily, so as we had made it so tough for them they decided to try to give our team a lesson in street fighting as the final whistle was about to blow!  Shame they let themselves down with this little display as everything had been reasonably amicable up to that point, apart from a few numpty's on their touchline who probably also thought this was going to be so much one way traffic, keep taking the anger management courses y'all!
Finally a big thank you goes out to all administration staff who have done their bit to keep the club going, there has been a noticeable improvement in commitment from a few individuals who have helped ease the strain of what is always a heavy workload.  Anyone who thinks that the club should be based anywhere else but the Flying Dutchman next season, needs to go to the nearest mirror now and have a word with themselves!  Carol, Richard and staff have been nothing more than outstanding for us all and we look forward to staying put for another season, hopefully the Terriers curse has finally been broken and we can put the grim reaper back in his box for a good while to come!
Further rants from the nursing home to follow!
Guv.
 

April 2009

Welcome all once again as we look back over the last month, and forwards to the Easter break and getting to grips with all that chocolate.  After a punishing game against Stanningley and the injury list growing, it was good to have a fixture free fortnight and a chance to recharge the batteries.  Good to get everyone back to fitness and all ready to face a relatively easy fixture at home to Westgate, it was duly noted that despite being thumped away by the same side, the team were raring to go and face the difficult task in hand.  Despite our lowly league position we at least have the bragging rights to say that our bottoms don't start tweaking when the going gets tough, that's reflected when you see how many fixtures we have failed to fulfil thus far this season, none.  The game was not made any easier by having a very hostile crowd against us, no it was not the Westgate fans, but a local rival side side who no doubt were missing yet another fixture and had nothing better to do.  Even the Westgate players did not know they were even in our league let alone who they were, their coach promptly took some photos in case they ever get the chance to play them in future, no doubt in some equivalent of a fantasy football league!  Unfortunately my minibus broke down on the way to the game and much of my piece comes from first hand eyewitness reports, and a great deal of hard cold true facts.
Fate then decided to intervene by making our next fixture at home to our abusers, many a threat was made about who was going to do what to whom, some details far too graphic and X rated to print in this column.  Needless to say most of this proved to be so much hot air and faded into nothing more than a few handbags at arms length, the only thing that hurt the most was having to lose the bragging rights on this one by a narrow margin.
A good evening was had by all who attended the recent Widnes game courtesy of Halifax R.L, just a shame we could not have had a few more juniors in attendance.  This was probably due to the fact that it was an evening kick off and a school night as well, our thanks again and good luck for the rest of the season to the Fax.
We have finally managed to accquire a larger container for the ground which means we will be able to put all of our kit in it, this will in turn give us an empty cabin which we will no doubt use for our junior set up.
More after the Bunny!
Guv. 

March 2009

Greetings readers, well the snow took it's toll of fixtures during last month and as predicted the Irish went away on their next fixture, after ours to Queensbury and lost as predicted (see Februarys notes).  All our opposition pay great compliment to our after match banqueting style grub, laid on by Mein hosts Carol and Richard at the Flying Dutchman.  Whilst there is no need to feed half the population of Halifax, some clubs should take a look at what they serve to the away team and the fast dying etiquette of how things should be done post match.  This is my major gripe for this month, you might wish to take your cyanide pills now before reading on. 
Whilst I fully understand that some clubs are not fortunate enough to have a three star Michelin rated headquarters, look at our own on pitch facilities taken straight from Slumdog Millionaire.  Very basic clapped out portakabins, recently upgraded to have two flush toilets and cold internal showers that come from the holes in the roof!  Anyway back to the issue in hand, do some of these clubs know what constitutes to a decent meal?  Since when does a stew devoid of any meat or beef stock and not a crumb of bread in sight, pass as decent or filling?  I know that prices have recently gone up and that we are in the middle of a credit crunch, I personally dislike that breakfast cereal myself, but what the cost of a few tins of bully beef, a jar of marmite and a loaf of Mothers Pride?  We don't expect to sit down to a three course meal but wish some clubs would attempt to do a little better, that's if you can get anything at all.  It never ceases to amaze me how many clubs feed themselves first and then give everyone else a chance to get to the trough, if we carry on like this we will all be turning up to away games with a packed lunch and a flask of tea.  Understandably some clubs can't put a lot of grub on and have to hand out 20-25 tickets so at least the players and some officials get fed, but usually these clubs have the decency to let the opposition get in first.  If you have managed to read thus far and are involved in amateur rugby league please take note of my ravings, feed your opponents first and at least try to invest in some cheap filling yeast products to compliment the spuds, peas and carrots!
Just a final note goes out to remind everyone that we have the shoots of a very good junior section up and running, under the guidance of Simon Farrar and Ben Mallas.  Training sessions are on a Wednesday night from 18.30 to 19.30hrs, this will be extended to 20.00hrs when we get the lighter nights.  A further session takes place on a Saturday morning starting at 09.00 'til 10.30, and as with all clubs we are looking to recruit more youngsters, parents and coaching staff etc to the club.  At this stage we are aiming at children under 12's of both sexes, so if there are any interested parties wishing to come along and join us, please feel free to do so.
Guv.

Febuary 2009

There goes the first month of the New Year, time sure flies when your having fun!
I have it on good authority that our Halifax lords and masters have proposed a new scheme of levering monies from struggling little clubs such as ours, having said this it would appear that most clubs have gone with the flow and accepted the same with little or no resistance.  This now means that each club will have to send at least eight members to the annual presentation evening, or get a bill for eight non-attendees.  With the cheaper end of the market sit down meals running at around £20 per head, there stands a potential debt to each club of £160 (I got the final sum by getting our treasurer to work it out for me).  Some clubs can't be bothered to send a regular representative to the league meetings, so how will they go on getting eight members to this function?  I can't wait to hear the feedback on this one after the event, as I have no doubt many clubs will have all sorts of excuses for attempting to withhold payment for their shortfall; it will no doubt take months for the league to recoup its monies and for the clubs to say that we don't want this set up again, remember you read it here first.
It has been good during January to see some good old fashioned rugby played in the spirit that it is meant to be, not the usual excuses for settling old scores and assaulting anyone that gets in your way.  Firstly Victoria Rangers came over with a weakened side and lost, then we went to Sla'wit with similar and were beaten accordingly.  This was followed by only being able to field 14 men against the Irish and running out losers at 16-48, to put 16 past them was an achievement in itself and to keep the score under 50, very well done guys!  My understanding was that the Irish enjoyed our all you can eat buffet, whoever played them next would have found that they were off the pace somewhat, probably due to the large amount of jock they put away!  We had a good laugh at Pete Emmett's alternative write up the following day, I am sure they won't print that version in the local rag, a real good rib tickler if you can find it on some forum or other. Yesterday saw DVB come across the Pennines and eke out a hard win over us by a mere 10 points, the official gave them their first 12 points from the referees alternative handbook on the laws of the game, with their final try also being controversial.  The underlying theme here was that all games were played clean and fair with a great deal of rapport between all clubs concerned, at all levels both on and off the pitch, long may this sort of thing continue.
Back to the usual theme of as one door opens another few dozen close, as we finally managed to get our quote for the new changing facility.  Just in time to find that all stage one funding bids have now closed and we are left with our shirt tails flapping in the breeze, it remains to be seen as to where we go from here but we shall just have to keep chipping away at it.  For the kind of monies quoted you would think that we are attempting to build another Emirates Stadium, gold plated with Astroturf and seating for 60,000!
Guv

January 2009


A Happy and prosperous New Year to all who take the time to read my Pulitzer winning page, feel free to take a moment to have yourself a little chortle if you need to.  Just a quick report, on happenings over the festive season.
Our Christmas Draw was one of the most profitable ever with only 20 books of tickets unsold; even these were returned intact, so no outstanding issues here.  Nice to see that one player who did not sell his 10 books of tickets, promptly purchased them all and walked away with three prizes!  A full list of winners is available to view at the news and events column, thank you to everyone who supported us with this event.  As for pieces of juicy tittle-tattle and gossip, I’m afraid that I failed on this score.
The 27th appeared to go off without much fuss, my only claim to fame on this one was beating the bookie by not being the first to go home.  The winner did not get past the third pub and with all that he had consumed (alleged) that was not much of a surprise.   I understand that there is a photo of the same comatose on his couch at home, but as to its actual whereabouts must remain a secret.  Talking of beating the bookie we did lose our usual flutter at Joe Corals, but the only sliver of brightness here was that it was only £2 a head instead of the usual £5!  I also understand that KFC lost out on a small fortune too, but its reputation went up 10 fold as most of us gave it a miss.  Those with the stamina managed to make “Club Darren Dewhirst” and went home in the early hours of Sunday morning.
Our season got back underway with a win against Vic Rangers last Saturday, we made hard work of the first half and only led 8-4 at the break.  However the Tuesday training session paid off in the second half, we got our act together and ran out easy winners.  It was also duly noted that the great majority of the touchline was a lot calmer and positive, let’s hope this continues; along with similar numbers of those who attended the training session!
Guv.

December 8th 2008

Compliments of the season readers bags of ho, ho, ho and all that garb, I have asked Santa for a couple of beefy ball handling props for the club this Christmas.  Along with new buildings and a few other odds and ends, will Rudolph and co be able to handle the weight?  Well deep down inside I know that wait is all that can be hoped for, as there's about as much chance of us winning the Challenge Cup but we can all dream can't we?  Things have just about slowed to a standstill as we wend our wicked way towards the New Year, no game until the 3rd January when we get the chance to pick up another two points at home to Vic Rangers.  No doubt they will have their sights set on upsetting our New Year applecart as both teams attempt to run off the festive over indulging, hope the training session goes well on the 27th as it's the only time of year when I put my boots on and make one inn.  Thanks to all for the snide comments about only making only the one, I usually get to around tea time before I am forced to return to the nursing home. 

My personal apologies to all concerned for the debacle at the Greetland game, there were more dummies spat out at that game than in a crèche.  Whilst our again makeshift side had things under control for the first 20 minutes or so, once again the wheels fell off the bus and we sunk into abyss with nearly all hands on deck.  Perhaps as has been said at last weeks meeting we should all take a leaf out of the book by the outstanding examples set by Paul Rawson and Ben Mallas, who clung to the tiller of the Titanic and never gave up the cause.  Without going back over all the grim details of that day I hope that we have all learnt from our mistakes and can make amends in the future, not only do we need to train to play, we need to train our mouths to encourage more and stop bitching a lot less!  I for my part promise to do a lot better in the future, here's hoping you all join me in this venture for the rest of the season.
It is with sad regret that we look around the leagues and see so many teams struggling to survive, Calder Valley and Whitehall Warriors forced to throw the towel in and our local rivals at Ovenden A struggling like ourselves to turn a team out every week.  Still as sides fall by the way those still interested in playing the game move on to strengthen other clubs, Greetland, Illingworth and Brighouse no doubt grateful for a boost in their respective player quotas.  Hey rather rotund person in the red cloak, any chance of a few crumbs here?
Our junior set up has also been hit by the recent bad weather, as the coaching staff have had to cancel training sessions. There are big plans afoot to get into the local schools in the New Year, not only to recruit more youngsters but lift the profile of the club at the same time.  Our own coaching staff have been joined by members of the Community RL team, who will no doubt lighten the workload of all concerned.  Stay tuned to this frequency as we launch into our junior section on the website soon, keeping all up to date with the latest information and development.
Well that's about it for now I shall close by wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, leaving you with this thought to ponder.  If the leaning tower of Pisa had a clock, would it have the time as well as the inclination?
Festive Cheers, Guv.
 

November 19th 2008

Greetings and salutations from my good self, welcome to more tales of derring do and swashbuckling heroism!

It has now been officially confirmed that coach Mickey Dewhirst is finally tying the knot with his beloved Andrea, feel free to reach for the Kleenex now.  My understanding is that things will be kept pretty low key as they are trying to do this on the Q.T, please feel free to register any questions before the Monday 1st December directly to the happy couple. Good luck and best wishes from the Boothtown Massive, remember to break open the fortune cookies before you swallow them, otherwise you will have to read 'em later. Understand that the honeymoon will be in Asia somewhere, I think we are paying you too much coach, thinks!  There was also a rumour that Andrea wanted to spend a few days in the Wentworth Detention Centre, but due to circumstances beyond her control all cells in block 'H' are currently occupied, much deeper thought required here.

Only one further win under the belt since my last blog this was away at Victoria Rangers, four points before Christmas means Santa has delivered early to Boothtown this year.  I just happened to be away taking a long weekend doing some fishing, so I managed to miss what I have been told was a rather decent performance.  In a sudden change of heart, must be the wedding bells ringing, well done to all the players who are turning out regularly and doing their bit for the club.  Special mention here goes out to three players who signed on this season just to make up the numbers if we ever got short, Dave Love and Craig Stewart (Gimp) have played in every game so far, whilst another 46 year old also keeps doing his bit when needed.  In fact rumours abound that someone has taken out a contract on the old bugger, 'cos no-one can keep up to his personal Tuesday night fitness regime, many have tried but as yet all have failed to conquor Mr Duracell and his copper coloured top (which is more of a grey colour these days)

Final thought, with Hamilton winning formula one and Obama due for the White House, will I be lucky enough to win 1st prize in our Grand Christmas Draw?  NO DON'T ANSWER YET!
Regards.
Guv.

November 2nd 2008

This is turning into a real nightmare to write as the crystal ball predictions keep fulfilling themselves, and the fickle finger of fate continues to point at the club.  It seems as though an individual can do what he wants and when, without fear of retribution from anyone in authority.  I refer to the recent signing of one of our players to another club, who then comes along and signs on for us too, which results in the two clubs and the league coming to loggerheads.  Meanwhile Mr two faced continues to play rugby and doesn't get so much as a slap on the wrist, what kind of punishment is that?  Some people need to sort themselves out and it's certainly got nothing to do with us!

There shall be no more penning of team members names or positions, as there seems to have been a great number of people who are increasingly taking Mogadon in order to dodge playing rugby.  This is resulting in players having sleep periods in excess of six hours, where upon they are unable to open their eyelids or even get their torso's from under the duvet!  In bygone days the club secretary and I also knew of such periods of sleep, which were more commonly known to us as Death!  Also as the weather has taken a turn for the worse, got wetter, somewhat colder and darker earlier, which has resulted in players going into states of semi-hibernation. 

This means that they are unable to leave their dwellings on the only night when the coach has proposed to have training, on the more positive side we will have a good quiz team when it comes to answering questions on Emmerdale, East-Enders and Corrie.  I personally am so thick that I cannot understand why we are not winning games, Doh! A slightly belated personal greeting goes out to Graham "the chinmeister" Charlesworth who recently signed for the Fax, come on folks you remember him, not good enough to play at a higher level etc, nice one Chinny! 

There is also a mention for our very own webmaster Sharky, whose appearance on Gordon Ramsey-live did about as much good for our sponsors and club, as did Brand and Ross for the BBC.  There is currently an internal investigation regarding this matter and my understanding is that heads will roll for this embarrassing fiasco, as long as they don't allow Sharky and his cookie crew to roll said heads in flour, things might just work out all right! More sarcasm from my luscious laptop next month.

Regards. Guv.

October 12th 2008

Latest notes from the dark side.

Well what did I tell you?  I think I ought to start up in business selling crystal balls, the one's into which you look to predict the future and not those advertised in the Daily Sport or similar sleazy tabloids (or so I'm informed by a person who shall remain nameless.)  My April prediction of the team moving base to the Flying Dutchman or the threat of it, finally came to fruition just before the start of the season.  The timing of this event could not have arrived at a worse time, feet well under the carpet with Tatt's at the Lock Stock and everything in place for the new season, and along comes Mr Turpin complete with mask to pull the dodgy floorboards right from under all our feet!  It was also most unfortunate for our new hostess Carol who happened to call in for a quiet drink on the same night, the Boothtown curse has now moved down with her to the only public house now left open in Boothtown, but for how long?  Even the only boozer in Boothtown which has never been our H.Q. The Friendly, decided to put up the shutters before we got there, an omen or what?

On a more positive note our quest for new changing rooms continues a pace, final drawings and plans now accepted, we just await final costings before submitting our bid to Sport England.  Our junior set up is looking very good and is growing week by week, in fact the girls are outnumbering the boys at this stage. Where we go from here remains to be seen but well done and thank you to Ben and Faz who are the lynchpins of this set up, keep up the good work.  Congratulations also go out again to Faz and his wife Amanda who have just passed their UKCC level one coaching course, not bad to say Amanda is totally deaf, great achievement Mrs. F! 

The close season has seen the usual coming and going of players, some having more faces than the town hall clock.  The coach again is struggling to find the right blend of players, we are a little weak in the forwards and have an abundance of centers and wingers.  Of course this is not helped by injuries and lack of commitment to training, nothing new to any other club then?  The new season is now up and running a good win at home first game against Thornhill, has quickly been followed by two losses to local rivals Ovenden and Greetland.  One nugget of comfort here has been the signing of a very useful looking full back who looked very impressive on his debut, I won't name him in case my curse has it's usual effect.  Talking of the curse it was mentioned by the club secretary that he had déjà-vu after our first win of the season, in that this was exactly how we started out last year and look what happened after that!  One things for sure he wont be selling his crystal ware on my patch, there's only enough room for one witch doctor in Boothtown and it's my clinic!

Regards.
Guv.

June 7th 2008

Greetings readers, whilst the team takes a well deserved break after a tough season, much hard graft is going on in the background with our plans for the future.  Since my last notes I will just start to update you with progress to date and my personal views on what has passed.

On May 17th our junior festival was a great success with around 60 children from six local schools taking part, the only downer here was the weather as after five days of glorious sun the heavens decided to open up.  The event was covered by the local paper as well as the two major rugby league tabloids, which hopefully will bring more youngsters to join us.  Thanks to all who assisted to make the day such a great event your efforts were well appreciated, let's hope of better things to come with our development.  Juniors are currently training on a Wednesday night and the numbers in attendance are starting to rise, keep up the good work you coaching staff!

May 30th was our presentation awards night which again proved to be a best ever, again a big thank you to all those who did their bit to make this such a great night.  Mr Robert Rushworth and his good lady wife Elaine were in attendance from our main sponsors, Expect Distribution.  Bob assisted with the presentation of the awards, whilst also receiving a little something from us to thank him for his continued support.  Glowing feedback has been obtained from Bob regarding the actual running of the night and the outstanding behavior of the club members, his understanding of such a night was that it usually ended with a wild west brawl.  He was also well impressed as they left the club to be thanked by a large group of players, all of whom also wanted to shake his hand in gratitude for his continued sponsorship of the club.  Another feather in the bonnet of the club, again well done to all.

Finally on things passed just a quick report on the Pennine League dinner, another event that continues to grow year on year.  This time there were around 260 members sat down to the feast at Berties in Elland and also for the awards ceremony itself, the reason I mention this is two-fold.  Firstly we managed to secure the Clubman of the year for Division two again for the second year running, our very own money spider Robert Keighley was so gob smacked by this he bought a round!  Well done Rob for all you have done for the club in the past, it's about time your dedication to the cause was rewarded and now it has been.  Secondly I can't resist or even begin to list the achievements of "our" Graham Charlesworth currently with Halifax Irish, he who could not make it at such a high level now borders on things great; again where are you knockers now?  Into the BARLA U23 squad on tour, highest points scorer for the past three years (only officially recognised for his last year) are just a couple of little things on his CV to date, watch out for the Chinmeister another original product courtesy of the Boothtown Massive!

You should be able to view of few of the things above in our photo gallery,

bye for now!

April 28th 2008

Well it took most of the season and it was said that it was always there, congratulations to all those who took part in our last game of the season and won away to Thornhill! To be fair our opposition did not overload their side with Conference players or so they claimed, but again the team stood up to the plate and got the much deserved win.

Two major injuries in the first five minutes left our veteran Andy Charlesworth as the last sub standing, his reward was to recieve a dead leg a few minutes after that and having to leave the field of play. This left the team down to the bare bones of 13 men to play the remaining 70 minutes, with the opposition thundering down the slope and sensing any easy kill. The whole game was a little dire to watch, I think the stat's revealed the scrum count in excess of 30 plus.

At least the official was half decent and didn't listen to the opposition touchline, who called for everything close to their line. The last minute of the game was like being at Old Trafford and we were just waiting for the try to go over and hear the shrill of the final whistle, but the lads stuck to the task to run out winners 20 - 24.

As that foreign gadger is once claimed to have said, "Mr Thornhill, your guys took one hell of a bloody beating!" I will admit that when I woke up we were pulling into Dewsbury Hospital to pick up our injured, but hey that's rugby!

Guv.

 

April 28th 2008

Well another season draws to a close just one final fixture away, from what has probably been our worst season to date; depending on where your looking from. The list of results sure does not read too well, just four wins all season and one of those scratched due to the team folding. If things go as they have for most of the season we will end up second from bottom, technically we can still be caught and it's always tempting fate to start shouting the odds now. Barring some strange shuffling we should remain in this division and other, again forces greater than ours control our destiny and we will have to take what is given.

Coach Mickey Dewhirst has done a great job under very difficult circumstances this season, with variations with those who have trained, played, not turned up or simply moved on for whatever reason. The team has been different every week with a small hardcore of never say die players, who have given their all for the club and stuck at it. There have been the usual excuses for not turning up at whatever, as usual some genuine and others I dare not comment upon without using expletives.

The younger end of the club have performed well above expectation and hopefully if they stick together can only get better. Most of these guys are only tiny compared to some of the bigger, older and more experienced opposition they have faced this season and in most cases they have stood up well and just got on with it. The two easy comparisons here are firstly at home to Ovenden, where the whole team stood up to the plate and gained a well earned win in our local derby.

The second against a mostly oversized and overloaded team at Stanningley last weekend, who rolled over us pretty easily with a big pack and some good handling. Again with most of our pack out as it has been for the last couple of months or so, our scratch side put in a reasonable performance under very difficult circumstances. We are still chipping away on the development front, an architect has been appointed and initial plans have been drawn for the new changing facility.

We are having a junior festival on the 17th May, hopefully this will be a big boost to developing a junior set up. This day is being run in with the help of our local service area who have been a tremendous help, forging school club links and training children that fall into our catchment area. A big thank you also has to go to Awards for All who have provided the funding for all of this, including training staff and buying much need equipment. I am getting to the stage now where there is at least one meeting a week and the e-mail contacts are starting to rise rapidly, sure doesn't help when your printer packs up (slight hint here to our Treasurer, who will no doubt have his ear protectors in.)

Once again we find ourselves homeless as the Prospect Inn has closed down, we have packed our nomadic tents and moved back to the Lock Stock as the curse of the Terriers continues. With the death clock now ticking again has anyone noticed that there are only two pubs still open in Boothtown, beware the Dutchman!

Guv.

March 12th 2008

Greetings readers, welcome to my latest update. We have now officially upgraded our seasons points tally to four, with a hard ground out win at home against Morley on the 3rd. This was a different Morley team than played Ovenden the week before, level at half time before buckling early in the second half.

This time they played for the full 80 and we did not turn up the heat enough, to win by a bigger margin. Still well done guys, a win's a win however you get it. The clock is against us now for survival in the division, have we left it too late or will fate throw us a life-line? I still believe that we are good enough to stay where we are, if we can keep some of these youngsters and the bigger poachers keep away. Having said that the better one's will move on and there will be others to replace them.

It's nice to know that we are turning out some quality players, that are capable of playing at a higher level (although a coach at Ovenden thinks otherwise). We gave others a chance to get their name on our Handicap Cup and have a well earned mid-week break in the process, by not playing the thinking mans game at Stainland last week. Coming up the hill in the 1st half, we played some good stuff and led 8-6 at half time.

The handicap now left us19 points off the mark and all we had to do was play it ugly, kick them to death going down the hill, wait for the mistakes and pick up the crumbs. Instead we decided to show them what a bit of rough and tough was about, returning their favor from the 1st half, powering it down the middle letting the limbs do the work instead of the wind. At first it seemed to gain some success as the gap narrowed down to nine points, but as the weather got worse and so did our handling. We missed a hat full of chances and golden opportunities and were left frustrated as th

e clock ran out, as did our chance of retaining the trophy for another year. Anyone wishing to make a donation to the "let's buy Stainland some more footballs appeal" please contact them direct. All quiet on the development front at this time, although we are currently wading our way through a very long winded application form right now. Just to take a break from the norm the last two meetings have been at our houses and not the pub, but we did managed to sly a few beers into things here and there just as tradition demands!

Guv.

 

February 24th 2008

Greetings readers, welcome back to the land that time forgot. The last time I wrote a piece for this site, fuel for my motor was less than £2 a gallon and beer cost less than £1 a pint! Even our webmaster had hair upon his napper and was keeping the site up to date, then he pricked his finger on a spinning wheel and fell into a deep sleep.... Now it's all systems go, should anyone know the identity of Prince Charming, please contact the Daily Sport in the first instance.

Still no victories on the field to speak about, close but no jelly babies and still down almost as far down as we can go. The team would do well on Blackpool Pleasure Beach, 'cos they've certainly put the frighteners on a few teams as well as our supporters, a real roller coaster performance every week! I would personally like to see a full strength Terriers outfit perform once in a while, bet the coach would too. There's always a different team out every week, with a variety of excuses for not being able to play or attend the games.

Well done to the hardcore who keep plugging away and are let down by a tiny minority, despite our results we have managed to fulfill all our league fixtures to date. That in itself is no mean feat, with a few die hard "has been's" constantly filling the odd spots to make up the team, well done to you all! We continue to plug away with our development and have until June to spend our A4A monies.

Our development plan is being updated and we plod on towards building a new changing facility. A new piece of interior plumbing has recently been added inside the changing rooms, we are now able to slop out leaking roof water with a bucket. Just one slight improvement and some for now dry internal walls, the only building I know that has internal guttering as one of it's main features (grade none listed) We are on the look-out for another half decent steel container, 20 or 40 foot, preferably with a lock box. Anyone knowing of one going begging, please get in touch and we can make arrangements.

Regards.

Guv.

December 9th 2007

Warm welcome to those of you with nothing better to do than to read this drivel, isn't Carnation Street on the box about now? Well another month has gone by and we still have mixed fortunes with our results. The team is starting to gel quite well now and things are looking a little brighter for the future. A good win a few weeks ago and we thought that we'd cracked it, only trouble was that we did such a number on the opposition that they promply decided to fold! This promptly halved our total points haul to date and still leaves us struggling down in the depths of the division. Another plus was our outstanding perfomance against our local rivals last week, when instead of cowering down and rolling over, we took the fight to them.

Apparantly some of their first teamers don't travel too well, or the mini bus broke down again (Christ and I thought that I was a little wet behind the ears!) anyway they had decided to stay behind for the annual Boothtown bashing, but this time the sand was kicked back in their faces. We even managed to rattle a few ex-pro's feathers or was it his feather duster he was waving? Going down eventually by only twelve points, we showed some true fighting spirit. Even the influential and always contraversial Captain Peacock found it difficult to spoil the party, but managed it anyway!

Club development plods wearily on and I am finding that as one door opens, another sixty three are slammed in our faces but we must keep on trying. The two local schools will be having some new years training down at the local leisure centre on the 3rd January. This will be funded by ourselves from our development monies, secured earlier this year. We are still looking for some people to get off their butts and give us a hand with the next stage of our building project, thanks here to the only other willing helper who has shown his commitment to date.

Deliah Smith has been seen around the Prospect Inn, come on guys let's be 'avin you! As the festive season will soon be upon us, I will give you all an early present and stop writing now. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you reader, wouldn't you rather be pulling your teeth out?

Guv.

November 7th 2007

Well at this time the team still only have the one win and things aren't looking too good right now. There's a lot of hard work going on down at the training ground, but tackle bags and shields don't hit back like the opposition. The team looked quite good last Saturday in patches, and with 20mins to go and only 8-4 down; was that a light at the end of the tunnel?

Then either the wheels fell off or the mogadon kicked in, we managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, finally losing 26-4. There is rumour control that the dark destroyer is soon to be unleashed into the public domain; perhaps this could be the key to turn the lock? Keep at it lads, we are going to get there!

Development continues slowly at this time, we have a school club link and a couple of willing volunteers on cp courses. Michael Dewhirst has one final days training on his level two course, whilst Amy Stoker attends a level one at the start of December (good luck Amy!) The search for the Holy Grail of funding continues, some believe it grows on trees or that greatness will be bestowed upon us, time to think again folks.

Our very own special one attended last Sundays meeting and informed the disciples as to what sacrifices must be made in order to move on, now we will see who's going to stand up and be counted! Instead of reading this column in order to fall asleep, try all the latest jokes at stillnotfunny.com as written by our very own PR guru! More juicy tit bits soon, keep the razors sharp.

Guv.

September 2007

Greetings readers! Welcome to another season of rugby league, this is my first piece since February this year. We have been promised an update of the site within the week, so the digits are taking some exercise on the keyboard. A lot has happened within the club since last I wrote, so here are the highlights and the juicy bits, as told by myself. Last season ended with us finishing in our highest position to date and winning the Handicap Cup.

Two of our most promising players decided to leave us and move to a local rival side. Our top try scorer for the past two seasons was one of them, and cynics stated that the only reason he scored so many was because he was playing down in division two. Since the guy has stepped up a couple of divisions, he is still rattling in the tries (believe it's seven in four to date) let's hear you bitch about him now! We also had a retirement of another senior player, who is still around the club and has itchy feet as he stands on the touchline. Another couple of players must have been abducted by aliens, because they disappeared without a trace and have not been seen since.

This left the club looking as though we would be struggling at the start of the new season, going into July things were not looking too good. Fortunately as we progressed into August, things picked up somewhat and we picked up several new players, most of them youngsters. Our first game of the new campaign saw only seven of last season's team on the sheet, but they managed to win away from home. This has been followed by two losses at home, there is a lot of individual talent within the squad and once the coach finds the right blend, the team will do well.

Stay tuned as we rise from the meteoric depths of the division, later in the season! On the development front our treatment plant has been installed, along with two thunder boxes in the changing rooms. At just over 13 grand, these must be the most expensive crappers in the North of England, but the plant deals with all the sewerage and the area smells much better now. We now look to the second phase of our project, new changing rooms.

There was also a bonus when we managed to secure a grant from A4A, for training up members towards starting a junior set up. Things are progressing slowly at this time but we are busy getting people to where they want to be and spending the funding. Well wasn't that exciting? Read the most wrist slashing column on the web, right here with the guv'nor (batteries not included!)

December 17th 2006

Well it's that time of year again, bags of ho ho ho and all that jargon with a bit of the bah humbug too for that matter! Things have all but ground to a halt as we enter the festive period, the local area is to be surveyed and we still await some form of communication from Yorkshire Water.

On the field the team is doing pretty well, although cracks are starting to appear within the squad. Good wins away at Rotherham and at home to Emley and York, have been followed by defeats to Elland and Stanningley. Whilst the defeat by Elland came as no surprise, as the superstars crawled out of the woodwork for a spot of Boothtown bashing. Our defeat at Stanningley might have been a shock to most of those who follow our beautiful game but it wasn't to me.

After much back stabbing of individuals and the club in general, the knife was finally rammed home Thursday night when we actually put pen to paper to transfer the Judas to Greetland. We started the day with our usual piss poor "I can't be bothered" syndrome, note this "we" does not include the backroom staff. By ten to one yesterday the coach was struggling to pick a side, as the usual phone calls failed to materialise and the bodies on the ground looked paper-thin.

Finally the odds and ends turned up and we set off late to the game, from there the rest is history. Well done and a big thank you to all those who put the effort in yesterday, your commitment is undoubted. Congratulations to the opposition, who drove hard and strong all day, backed up well and simply blew us off the field. Of course the 14th man did his bit and didn't help us one iota but the writing was on the wall from early doors. Some of you out there need to get your act together and have a word with yourselves; "commitment" is a good starter here!

A similar scenario ensued the same evening as the same hardcore did their bit for the Xmas draw, well at least some of us had a good night. Most folk made the effort and donned some form of fancy dress; there were more trannies than a Ford garage on display! A few unfortunate souls thought that the Prospect Inn would be a good place for a quiet drink on a Saturday night, they could not have been more wrong! Once again thank you to all who put in the effort and appearance to make it another night to remember.

Well that's enough of the bah humbug for now, if the cap fits wear it! Just to show that the old Grinch sometimes does feel all toasty inside, although I'm not leaking; Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all, wherever you are!

Guv.

06/11/06

It's time for another little snippet from the real world, as one door opens another two close! Just as we thought we had crossed the finishing line with the digester, the rat from the non-existent sewer has raised its ugly little head to the surface and is trying to take my grant with it! Not that the contractor and I have spent the best part of six years trying to find the said hole and even after Britannia dug half the road up in an attempt to find it. Mr Jobsworth and his colleagues still insist that it is there and we should connect to it, doh! I can sure see Yorkshire Water spending thousands of pounds on our behalf; just so little old us can connect to the mains sewerage (not.) Hey Jobsworth, wake up and smell the coffee! Still what will be, will be, bring back the thunderbox say I!

Another interesting race night was held the other week, just to raise a few bob for the new building project and a good night was had by most. The first race turned into a fiasco as the odds on favourite romped home by a country mile, it was only then that it was realised that there were eight sixes in the pack; what made matters worse that Rob the bookie was in charge of the stewards enquiry and the result stood! We almost had a riot on our hands as Rob counted his vast profits with a cheesy grin; furious punters were looking for a lynching. This brought home memories of burning crosses and I duly headed for the door. The Guv'nor cruised over the line by two lengths in the fourth race and I duly accepted a bottle of wine in the winners' enclosure, talk about taking coals to Newcastle! The said bottle duly skulked its way into the cellar at The Prospect; next to appear as a glittering prize at the Christmas Draw! For once the night ended early instead of the last time when we vacated around 5.30 am (alleged.) This was not before yours truly managed to rock the table and spill the beer, which was on it.

As usual it turned out the only drink which got spilled was my own full pint, expensive drinking at £4 a pint (think about it!) Well that just about wraps it up for now, just time for a passing comment about the team. Beat Drig 'A' in the cup, nothing to shout about there against a division four side; well done to the drig lads who kept it going right to the end. Won a super victory at Newsome the other week, won't be many teams who go there and win. Our Darren Dewhirst decided to try the Newsome back therapy treatment and our Kevin Smith was blinded (temporarily until he took his hands away from his face, which restored light to the pupils.) He and Chinny pulled off some fine try savers, especially the latter as the opponent thought he was home and dry. Just as he was about to celebrate the try of the season, his ankles were whipped away and his dignity with it as he hobbled off injured.

Quite surprised that there were not more injuries in this game, as the Newsome players tested out their own brand of self defence skills and wrestling moves; all nicely seen over by Kent Walton in the middle, who started the count as yet another forearm smash was landed in front of him. I used to pay good money to watch that kind of stuff in the 70's, all this for free and a ringside seat too! Another bonus was the snap back at the pub, fat git here had both meals; if that's how they feed them up there then a little human flesh on the menu must be a tasty extra!

Least said about the Ackworth game, the better. Even David Brent didn't have days as bad as this one. We were right in it up until half time, when some pillock put my mogadon in the water and sent the team to sleep for the second half. To say we got our backsides slapped is an understatement, we just seemed to stand back and admire the show. Thanks for giving us a lesson in rugby league; Kenny Mc Cluskey can consider himself off my Christmas card list!

Guv.

08/10/06.

Hello Readers, well it's back to reality and onward and upward to the job in hand. At this time Hull face the Saints in the final after a well deserved victory last Friday night, nice to see the technology catch up with the Bulls; shame about human error, but that's life. Good match to watch, hope the final is better. Have just witnessed the Rovers beat the Vikings, why is it that the officials for any big game always appear to be below standard? Unlucky Vikings but I think the best team won on the day.

A little info on our development and progress to date, my favourite saying here is "I'm always in the sh***, it's only the depth that varies." On a positive note we have managed to secure a grant, which will enable us to install a self-contained treatment plant for sewerage, this will enable us to install proper toilets and comply with environmental health issues.

A big thanks you to the Community Foundation of Halifax for supporting us and to Gil Esjymonnt and Muppet at V-AC for their valuable support. There now looms the daunting prospect of raising funding for the new facility, any sugar daddies out there with a spare 100k? We will shortly carry out a survey of the local residents to see what they want for Ellen-Royd, let's hope they don't deem it fit for a toxic waste dump or worse!

12th September '06.

Since my last script I have flown over some major piles and slid under many a door, all with my top hat on of course! A brief account of the happenings as I have seen them from the horse's mouth. Twickenham was another "best ever" and I honestly think we were better entertainment than the match itself. The main highlight of the weekend for me was to see those with more money than sense, leave us behind at the newly re-vamped Generator International Hotel for the Saturday evening. After the compulsory tour of the local speakeasies, it was back to the Generator for the all night rave (well at least until 2am.) It was quite apparent that the staff at the same has a completely new approach to those of whom had consumed a little too much of the amber nectar. This was to escort them to their rooms and put them to bed, checking up on them after 15 minutes or so to ensure that they were comfortable.

This seemed to affect the younger one's more than us old duffers, for some strange reason. After failing to storm the stage and being put to bed to boot, it was left to us geriatrics to put the Boothtown Massive firmly back in pole position. With Zimmer frames to the fore and many a grinding hipbone, us old gits showed the backpacker of the world what a Darby and Joan rave up is all about! I have never heard " Who the **** are the Boothtown Massive?" spoken in so many different accents! Hearing that the night was about to draw to a close and glasses of Steradent were now the order of the day, us giffers gladly mounted the Stannah stair lifts upwards. As the warders handed out the Mogadon and the young studs slept on, the wrinklies mounted one last assault. This was onto the rooftop plaza of Stalag Luft 13 into the chill out zone, with our next-door neighbours with whom we shared some fine wine and intimate conversation.

This lasted for about an hour or so, until we were caught in the cross glare of two searchlights and we were forced back into the luxurious surroundings of our Nissan-Huts. The journey home proved to be a bit of a bind, it didn't help that Charlie was reading from a 1918 Michelin map, which he had found in his demob suit. It took us two hours to get out of the Smoke, another one for a bogey and spew break and another three until we met the end of the motorway. Then we descended into the Yorkshire mizzle and we knew we were back in blighty, well at least the beers good at the Prospect. Great to see the team off to a flying start with two good wins, let's hope it will continue. Mick has worked the team hard since taking over, all seem to be enjoying the hard training and it is obvious that we are reaping the rewards. Also good to see some new faces in the team, especially in the pack where Simon Jeavons and Paddy Dolan are already having an impact ;(in more ways than one. Finally a big thank you to all those who attended Connors funeral last Friday representing the club. All our love and best wishes are with the Graham family at this time.

17th August 2006:

Hi, Guv'nor here, if you've not taken your mogodon yet read on. Let me introduce you to my life as jack-of-all-trades and master of none! Working upwards from the easy life of Groundsperson, which allows me to draw wonky lines on the field and to cut the playing field. Onto match days when I am the “cuts man” whom repairs bone and sinew, also joining the baying crowd in a spot of “What me sir? Never said a word!” Next into the world of the Secretary's number two and sidekick, where there are funds to be raised, many a dodgy handshake and a spot of blackballing (alleged.) Finally we get to the top where it's meeting opened, yes time for another beer break and eventually we've been here for fifteen minutes meeting closed, see you all next month!

Life is sure different and varied in many ways, now I know what a chameleon feels like. I have the vision to see how high the bullshit's piled and fly over it, the stealth to see when the door is closed, put on my top hat and slither under it! My motto is a simple Yorkshire one adapted slightly, “Hear all, see all and say no'wt. If tha's gonna do summat, do it for the Terriers!”

Stay tuned to the Guv'nor for up-to-date building development, latest personal points of view and general verbal sputum; or else!

The Guv'nor

It's Robs Rant Rumoured to have a Pentium 4 processor for a brain, what is Rob's rant this week.
Click here
Diddy's Jobs Multi talented Diddy has had many job's, here we showcase a few of Did's roles.
Click here

Neds Natter Always natters here, he natters there, but who is he, nobody knows the natterer.
Click here

Boothtown Terriers ARLFC 2008 | Contact Us